TSP’s Rabish Ki Report E06 | Ladkiyon Ki House Party
The IT cell have been tormenting us a lot. Run away, son. ‘Cause my gun’s
got a bullet in it too. Also a girl’s house party is a mystery
to boys. I’m sure you’re looking for some simile
in this as well. But let me tell you that today
is only about girls. Which is why I’ve come
to the girl’s house party. Yes, I’m a girl’s bro.
The love of Barkha. Hello, I’m Rabish Kumar. Episode – 6
Girl’s House Party I was just about to enter the building
for the girl’s house party when I met a feminist who would
even put Twinkle Khanna to shame. I don’t know about the country but the girls in this society always had
freedom, and will have freedom till eternity. Inqulab Zindabad! I think Girls can do whatever they want. They can smoke up, make noise, break
bottles or even pee in the pool! All they need to do is give me a quarter. So here’s what you call
a feminist with benefits. So does this mean you don’t complain
to the secretary once you get your drink? -Should I tell you something Raja Ji?
-Yeah, tell me. -I’m only the building secretary.
-Wow, man! So do the girls know that Gangadhar
only is Shaktimaan? No, no… They don’t know yet. Now what’s this? Modiji must be playing PUBG? -He’ll loot a crate now.
-Yeah, he’ll loot the crate. Come now.
I’ve bought a new suit, you know! Ain’t it good? If you zoom in close you can see
‘Raja, Raja…’ printed really small. This suit doesn’t cost 10 lakhs Their doorbell sounds
like birds chirping. -Hello, madam.
-Hello, Raja Ji. Come in. -Can I come in?
-Please do. I hope there’s no dog inside. No, there isn’t.
Come in. -Hello…
-Please… There’s a mirror here. It’s like it’s telling us what girls
generally tell boys… “Have you seen your face?”
We’ll have a look. Looking smart. Once I entered, I saw that the prep
for the party was in full swing. It was like the first elections of 2019
was happening today. -Excuse me, madam?
-Not now, sir. I have a lot to do. She’s in a major hurry, looks like
she has to capture snacks counter. I even saw a few girls
busy with their phones. -and few girls were busy fooling their mothers.
-I’m at Sanaya’s house, mom. I came here ’cause she had
an asthma attack. Mom, why are you investigating me? Hang up
the call, she’s bleeding! Blood… Asthma… Yes, mom. Even I know people don’t bleed
when they have asthama. But…The thing is… Mom… Sanaya was trying to breathe inside
the bathroom, she came out because she couldn’t then she banged against the table
and fell down, mom. She’s hurt, mom. Please hang up, mom.
Why are you acting like Rabish Kumar? Bye! What’s this, eh?
You’re trolling me for your own benefits? Trying to fool your mother, are you? Yeah! I fool her so that she can go
to sleep and then I party hard… So how many times a week
do you hurt Sanaya? -2 or 3 times.
-2 or 3 times? -Yes.
-Hard party girl, Folks.. What will you do if your mom
ever calls Sanaya to cross-check? She does cross-check,
but Sanaya handles it all. -She handles everything?
-Does she now? Sanaya is like Dhoni in her team.
She handles everything. The party has started. Girls don’t lie
on the floor and party like guys do. They’ve a way of doing things. Look at how methodically
they’ve arranged up chairs to form an allaince. Looking at these tall and short glasses
on the table I can feel the Indian Cast system. Madam, when you pour drinks
into all these glasses y’all have kept, how do y’all decide who get’s which glass? How does it go about? It’s very easy, Raja Ji.
Shall I tell you? This is a wine glass, that’s for juice,
this one’s for beer, that for whiskey and that one’s for shots. Now why don’t you tell me
what is this used for? -This one?
-Yes. This one’s for Rum. No, Raja Ji.
Messed it up, didn’t you! It’s a wine glass and here’s how
you hold it. -Like a scissor.
-A scissor… I’d ride a cycle that way… The thing is, madam. We boys can drink
even from the palm. and if a girl breaks up with us, we even
try to drown ourselves in the same way. -Very funny!
-Same to you… Right after 4 drinks, where single guys
start to melt, is when girls start to tap their feet. After seeing these daddy’s girls dancing,
I realised that it’s not easy to dance
at girl’s house party, bro. I can’t even get my left foot
sync with my right foot. But look at how all the girls dance
with perfect steps and perfect sync. Hey, come on, Raja Ji.
Shake your ass! -No, no, that’s okay.
-Come on now! Look the cat will be out of the bag
’cause my hips don’t lie. -Come soon now.
-No, no… Look don’t this. Raja Ji, you’ve come to party
so you have to dance. -No, no…
-Come… I normally used to dance at weddings only. But when the girls challenged me, the ego
of the wedding dancer in me was hurt. After that, I danced like there
was no tomorrow. Selfie! -Isn’t that good?
-What’s that! It’s completely blurred out. The thing is, it’s the first time I saw so
many hot girls in one frame and that hampered my focus. After that there was an episode
of selfies that began and never ended. I clicked pouts Clicked Shouts! Clicked groupie and lying down poses. I clicked from Close and from far away My phone’s battery died 3 times and 4 times mine. But alas, the girls didn’t like a single selfie. You cut out half of it.
What’s this Rabish Ji? There’s not one good picture in there. They heartlessly snatched the camera
away from me. I was hurt but there was rum by my side. I mixed my sadness in rum
and drank away my sorrows. Guys! They clicked a ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ picture. But a beautiful face was mssing from the picture Mine! I spoke to Priya after that. She drank up half the booze
of the house party. I had to ask her which secret sorrow she
was hiding behind all this drinking. There’s no sorrow, Raja Ji.
I’m just not getting high, that’s all. You’re not getting high? Did they give
you Sprite instead of Vodka? No, Raja Ji. I am drinking Vodka
but I’m not getting high. You’re not getting high? Should I help?
What if you get out of control after getting high? Raja Saab! If you have any cocktail then get me one
Or else you don’t get out of control. You’re challenging me, aren’t you?
Come on then, let’s get you a drink. Come on, come on. Stub that butt… She’s challenging me, eh. You see, I have the solution
to your problem. It’s country liquor, guys. This is made from the oranges
in my village. Drink up. Where imported liquor falls short is where
country liquor gives you a kick! She lost her brains with just
two drops of oranges. A river began to flow down her face
and I thought they were tears of joy, but it was due to a breakup. And suddenly he stopped
loving me & he ditched me. Madam, look, listen it’s best to forget
love that wasn’t real. Okay?
I have personal experience. But I can’t get over him, Raja Ji.
I want to forget him. -I want to forget him.
-Okay…This looks serious. Alright, I’ll make you forget him. -Will you do as I say?
-Yes! -Promise me.
-Yes! Okay. Why don’t you do one thing… Give me your boyfriend’s number. 9-8-6-7-4-2-0-4-3.
It’s 3 not 4… Look at how instantly she said it.
Either her memory is great or her love. -Hello…What’s his name?
-Sunil… Yes… May I talking Mr. Sunil? Call me back, please. I don’t have balance, you see. I’m not getting a jio, ’cause of the
aadhar, they say I’m anti-national. Here you go, he called back. Talk to him.
Listen to me… Do as I say, okay? Don’t screw it up like Aamir Khan.
Here, talk to him. Here, now tell him-
“You dog!” “You dog!”
Come on, tell him. You dog… Son of a pig! Son of a pig… Dumbass… Dumbass, America’s Trump! Korea’s Kim Jong What did you think I was going to suffer
’cause you left me? You’ll be the one to suffer you moron! You bloody… mother….. Wow! That’s fantastic!
She blew his mind! Now he’ll never be able to forget you.
Very good! Now tell me the number again.
Let me abuse him again in English 9-8-0… She forgot.. She forgot it… Got over, guys.
She got over him… An air of whispers settled down
at the house party after a while… A big house party was divided into
smaller house parties… In the slang of house parties,
this is what you call- ‘bitching’. A favorite spot for bitching at a girl’s
house party is the kitchen. Let’s go take a look at what’s cooking. -Hello, madam. What’s going on?
-Nothing, Raja Ji. -We’re just sharing our “Mann ki Baat”
-Really? What will Modi Ji do if you’ll
are doing “Mann ki Baat”? -Shall I tell you what you were doing?
-What? -Shall I?
-Tell us. Y’all were bitching. -Raja Ji, you shouldn’t eavesdrop.
-Yes! Don’t worry, I won’t mention
it to anyone outside. Tell me something, why do you girls
secretly gossip at house parties? It’s a healthy practice, okay? If I don’t like something about you
and keep it in, it’ll turn into acidity. Correct! That’s why we do a bit of bitching.
Right? We’re able to rant
and the other person doesn’t even know! Very good. This works like Enoo.
Very Good. -Well…
-Will you teach a little ’bout bitching? Of course. Who do you want to bitch about? Look, find someone you have
a problem with. There’s just one person like that, madam. I have such a problem with him that even I
don’t know how much problem I have. For example, He chooses topics that have nothing
to do with guys… When did that guy last go to a guy’s
house party and talk about their issues? When did he go to the discos
that don’t allow single guys? Just ’cause he get suit, camera, tie and a prime
time slot, will he blabber about anything? I feel like sitting on that man’s chest
and pounding him so much… So that I can reach into his chest
and pull out all the English and eat it all! After that I want to stuff his mouth
with my Hindi! Wow, Raja Ji.
You’re quite good at bitching. -Isn’t it?
-Who is this person though? -Don’t you girls know?
-No… Our audience that’s watching will answer
this, okay? Put it in the comments section. -You can go read it there, okay?
-Okay. -It just came out…
-Yes, didn’t we tell you? The broken parties got back together
after bitching. HPA – House Party Alliance. At a guy’s house party there are often
physical fights, they’re found beating each other up. This is because the concept
of bitching isn’t there at their parties. I feel guys should learn from girls and
learn about the philosophy of bitching. Just look at India, Pakistan and China
that keep fighting with each other. It’s because the prime minister of all those
3 nations are men. Among them ours is also a bachelor. Let me tell you that a girl’s house party is a challenge
for a male-dominated India. While guys drink, mess it up and leave, girls set an example of unity and harmony and cleanliness So, Mr. Modi if you’re listening… If there’s to be a brand ambassador
of your ‘swachh bharat’ movement, it’s the girls who do house parties. Bye, guys. Get home and text me…text me… text me. No No, you don’t text me.
I’ll drop you home myself. Your life’s under threat. We’ll come along too… Madam, I’m not scared of threats. You see, I have my own defence…
Made in Bihar. Raja Ji, you’re a journalist, your weapon
isn’t a gun, it’s your mic. Throw it!
Throw it away! You’re right.
I lost my way. Mic Zindabad! But I’ll go myself. Y’all get some sleep.
You guys are drunk, okay? -But, we’ll drop…
-I live close by, near the banyan tree. -Madam, I’ll go myself. You’re stubborn.
-Keep quiet… Just keep quiet. Who dares to touch our Raja Ji?! Keep it down, madam. Get out if you’ve the guts! If you mess with Raja Ji,
you mess with us! -I’ll break your bones!
-Hold your horses, madam! -Show yourself if you’re a man!
-I’ve lost my head…! Madam! Raja ji! Madam Madam….